Only The Lord Knows
by Rhiannon A. Christy
Summary: After the war Bucky finds himself at a loss, not just with what to do with the life he still has, but also with the woman who seems to care for him.


Bucky pulled his hand back and shook it, willing the pain to dissipate. It wasn't the worst pain he had ever been in. He had been in the war and had caught several bullets to the arm. He had been fully awake when they had sawn through him, removing his arm almost up to the shoulder. At times he still felt the burn of the blade. Sometimes at night he would wake screaming, expecting the feeling of his fingers digging into the sheets.

Ducking as a fist came towards his face, he could only laugh. The people in this town had no use for men like him. He had done his job in the war, but now that he was back and less than what he had been before… he was seen as a burden. What use was a man with one arm? Who would hire him for surely he couldn't work a ranch. Thankfully Vision Valley was the home to Mr. Tony Stark.

Tony Stark was a wealthy man. His father had come from out east when Tony was just a boy, he was one of the first to settle Vision Valley. The Starks owned over half the town, and Tony also wounded from the war was known for hiring all manner of men no matter what they were missing. Of course that didn't mean that men like Bucky didn't deal with his share of problems.

Today was no different than any other day when he ventured into town. He had gone for a drink at the Broken Shield Saloon, spend a little time with one of the girls, and head off to purchase some supplies for the ranch. Only one of the local men had taken exception to Bucky talking to what he termed as "his girl." Not that ol' Darcy would have given Rumlow a second look, she only had eyes for Marshal Rogers.

"What you laughin' at? Stubs, huh, what you laughin' at?" Rumlow swayed on his feet, his left eye already swelling and turning purple. Not that he let that bother him; he swayed forward and took another swing at Bucky.

"Your ugly mug, Rum." Bucky swerved out of the way, turning before the other man could come at him again. He let his fist fly again, this time the crunch of Rumlow's nose was unmistakable.

Rumlow screamed, blood and snot pouring down his face, slipping between his lips and turning his teeth an unsightly red. He growled and went headlong into Bucky, only to find himself with a fist in his gut and his head knocking against a table.

Shaking out his hand, Bucky surveyed the scene before him. A couple of Rumlow's friends lay draped across tables and chairs, a few others slipped outside. Most of the other patrons went on drinking their whiskey; this was just another normal Thursday afternoon for them. He jerked at the hand on his shoulder, but he stilled. Thankfully as Darcy slipped into view.

"If you don't stop tearing up my place every time you come in here, I'm going to have to ban you." Darcy shook her head, a small smile on her face. "Come on, let's get you to the Doc."

Bucky swallowed hard, but allowed her to guide him outside. She yelled over her shoulder for one of the other girls to get things cleaned up, and then the two of them were on their way. He knew she would not take him to old Pierce. The man had a practice down by the whorehouse. Most of the people in town went to him, mostly just because he was a man. That was about all he had going for him. Pierce was a quack if he ever saw one. His office was a mess, his tools rusted and covered in dried blood. Many died after being treated for something as simple as a bad tooth by him. No, Darcy would never take him there.

They passed by Pierce's place, going further out until they arrived at a small cabin on the outskirts of town. The cabin was owned by the Holmes brothers, two men from England who now worked for the government. Not that anyone knew what they did, only that those who crossed them always ended up dead. Neither of the men lived in the cabin, they had lent it out to the Doc.

Miss Molly Hooper had arrived in America alongside the Holmes brothers. For years it was believed that she was married to one of them, or possibly both. So it had been a shock when both men had come back from a visit out east with wives on their arms. No matter what her relationship to the brothers, Miss Hooper had been set up in the little cabin.

Not long after both men had moved away, she had opened the place up as a medical practice. Most in the town refused to go to her. She was a woman, and one with a history if the church women were to be believed. Soon a few women went to see her, mainly the ones that Pierce, in all his self-righteousness, refused to treat. Namely the saloon girls and soiled doves from the Red Room. This was where Darcy was taking him now, and the one place that Bucky wished not to be.

"Is there anyway that I could convince you to just let me go on my own way? There is no need to bother the Doc, I'm just a little bruised up." Bucky smiled down at the woman at his side. The smile was the same one he had often used many years ago to charm the ladies into saving him a dance. Now though, since the end of the war the smile looked less charming and a lot more awkward. As though someone had been standing behind him, pulling the skin at his cheeks back from his teeth.

Darcy sighed and shook her head. She had been one of the lucky ladies to have been on the receiving end of that smile in its heyday. She had even allowed that smile to lead Bucky back into her room; not that anyone but the two of them knew that. To see the twisted way his mouth stretched across his face now tore at her heart. Looking away from him she didn't speak, only pushed open the door to the little cabin and stepped inside.

"I'll be with you in a moment." A soft voice trailed from one of the back rooms following the ringing of the hanging bell at the door. The patter of hard soled shoes tapped a rhythm out on the hardwood floor as a slender figure entered the main room.

Molly took one look at her guests and groaned. There was no need to ask what Darcy was doing there with Barnes at her side, it was a common enough scene. She directed them into a small room off to the side, and stood waiting at the door until Barnes lifted himself up onto the exam table.

Darcy gave a firm pat to the man's thigh before stepping back. It was upsetting enough seeing that smile, it practically hurt seeing him once again in a doctor's office. At least this time he was awake. She slipped out the door, giving a short nod to the Doc on the way. She knew that he would be in good hands with the woman, and she needed to get back to her saloon before Rumlow woke. Rum was a mean old bastard, and a dumb one at that. He never could understand the difference between one of her girls and a whore. Even after finding himself on the wrong side of a gun more than once.

Molly waited until she heard the bell above the front door ring before she moved to stand before Barnes. She lifted a single hand, her fingers brushing over the lines of his face. She knew these were lines that had been brought on by war and death, not by age. She wondered many times what he had looked like before he had become a soldier, smoothed faced and with bright eyes. She hadn't known him then, only of him.

"One of these days you're going to get yourself killed." Molly smiled sadly at him.

"Maybe that's a good thing." Bucky always felt wrongfooted around Doc Hooper, and he always seemed to say the wrong thing. He realized he had done it once again when the woman hauled her hand back. He closed his eyes expecting to feel the sting of a slap, only instead he heard a small, shaky sigh. He opened his eyes to find the woman before him with her head bowed.

"For all my learning, all the years I spent studying medicine with the hope to heal, I have never felt more helpless than I do when I'm around you." Molly took a step back towards the cabinet, her face never meeting Bucky's. She gathered a handful of cloth and a small bottle of a faint yellow liquid before returning to the man on the table.

Bucky remained silent as the small woman dampened the cloth and carefully dabbed it over the cuts along his face. He could see tears in her eyes, and it pained him to know he had been the one to put them there.

It hadn't been the first time that particular sentiment had left his lips. For the first year after the war he had thought of nothing else. He fully believed that he should have died in the war. There had been so many young boys, so many better men out there that had lost their lives while he lived. It didn't seem fair to him. He had the unfortunate luck to mention this to Miss Darcy, the woman had just flung her arm back and walloped him good for even thinking such a thing. Still, it didn't stop him from feeling that it was the truth. Now he stood before another woman, this one taking his words not with violence, but with quiet sadness. It hurt more than losing his arm had.

"Look now, you shouldn't take what I say to heart. I'm just an old fool." Bucky reached out, a single finger going under to lift Doc Hooper's chin.

"If I believed that I would be the fool." Molly sniffed a little and took a single step forward. "You are not the first soldier I have worked on, nor are you the first man I have known to think such thoughts….." She fought down a lump in her throat before continuing. "Do you not understand how much you mean to your friends? How much they would miss you? How much it would hurt…"

"What friends I got wouldn't care a lick what happens to me." Bucky allowed his hand to go slack, his arm falling down into his lap. He swallowed hard when the woman stepped up fully to him, and disregarding all decorum, leaned her head against his chest. Not knowing how to react, his simply placed his hands on each of her shoulders.

"I would…. I do…" Molly knew that what she had just done would have been seen as scandalous by most of polite society. The thing was, she didn't care. She had longed to find herself in this man's arms for a long time now, to know what it was like to be surrounded by his scent.

She sighed when Bucky slid his arms slowly over her shoulders and into her tightly pinned hair. He lifted her face up, his fingers spanning the entirety of the base of her neck, his thumbs resting lightly on the edge of her jaw.

"The good Lord only knows why." Bucky leaned down with every intention of kissing the woman. At the last moment, he tilted her face down just far enough that he could easily press his lips against her forehead. Doc Hooper was too good for the likes of that, she deserved a proper courtin'. Even if he didn't deserve such a thing.

"Maybe one day he will tell you. Until then, promise me you will be careful with your life."

Bucky gently took a hold of her ear lobe, a small, sad smile gracing his whiskered face. He gave a careful tug.

"I promise."

* * *

Author's Note: Ok, so this took a long time. So sorry about that. Starting a new job and moving (again) makes it hard to be able to write. I just started being able to actually write again a couple of days ago.

This is a Tumblr prompt for anything Molly/Bucky western. I hope this is alright, it is a bit earlier in the period of the old west than I normally I write, but I thought I would give it a try.

Well, except for one Anon, I have finished with my prompts. (That one will take a while as it is a bit more detailed) Now I plan on working on trying to get TLoF and Greenwaves done, mostly as I have so many ideas just floating around in my head for both Sherlolly, and Darcyland. Some even collide like this fic. I might open prompts again in a few months, perhaps more towards the holidays.

 **Disclaimer:** **All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**


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